Review: The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control

Title: The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control

Author: Katherine Morgan Schafler

Publisher: 31st January 2023 by Hachette Australia

Pages: 294 pages

Genre: non fiction, self help, personal development

My Rating: 5 cups

Synopsis:

From psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, an invitation to every "recovering perfectionist" to challenge the way they look at perfectionism, and the way they look at themselves.

We've been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don't have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to "find balance," a new approach has arrived.

Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy!

Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author's private practice, and who changed her life. It's a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you'll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.

My Thoughts

The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control provides a fresh perspective on perfectionism offering numerous ideas, case studies and life changing ‘aha’ moments that will have you highlighting furiously. Through practical tips and tricks, women are encouraged to embrace their perfectionism in order to free themselves.

‘All perfectionists chase that which is unattainable, ‘unrealistic’, an ideal …. ideals are not meant to be achieved, they’re only meant to inspire.’

The first half of the book breaks down the understanding of the meaning of perfectionism - there being more than one type, which is in itself interesting to consider. This book successfully lays out perfectionism in all its glory allowing the reader to gain a more in-depth understanding in order to learn to work with it. The second half of the book gives you concrete ways to restructure old habits so that they work for you and not against you in attaining your life goals and dreams. This is about trying to reach a mindset that is both healthy and productive. 

‘The more present you are internally, the more you recognise perfection externally’.

As a perfectionist in many ways (falling into the classic category with a touch of some of the other varieties outlined), this book I found to be so enlightening and refreshing with its very honest approach. There are many solid ideas from which I learned and will hopefully weave into my everyday living eg. replacing the word time with the word energy; and, experiencing my ‘Dorothy’ moment ... realising I had the power all along and it was just a matter of learning it for myself.  This book now resides close by as a handy reference when needed. 

‘We put such pressure on ourselves to know exactly who we are and what we want in every moment; it’s okay for some things to be fuzzy’.

I will always love planning and organising - it’s who I am! Reading this made me realise that I do it because I want to and not because everything may fall apart if I don’t! I will work towards going with the flow and not seek to curate each and every experience. As a restored perfectionist I will define success on my own terms ‘understanding that it’s not that you long for some external thing or for yourself to be perfect, it’s that you long to feel whole and to help others feel whole’. 

This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.

Review: Inside Bridgerton

Title: Inside Bridgerton

Author: Shonda Rhimes and Betsy Beers

Publisher: 29th November 2022 by Hachette Australia

Pages: 285 pages

Genre: non fiction, Bridgerton

My Rating: 5 cups

Synopsis:

Inside Bridgerton is the intimate behind-the-scenes story of the hit Shondaland series on Netflix, from Shondaland executive producers Shonda Rhimes and Betsy Beers.

Full-colour and beautifully designed, Inside Bridgerton is the official book about the show, and includes never before seen photographs, first-hand accounts on casting, insight into the decisions behind the costumes and sets, directors' accounts on shooting your favourite scenes, and more from the creative minds that launched a cultural phenomenon.

Shondaland executive producers Shonda Rhimes and Betsy Beers offer exclusive insights, and introduce you to the series writers, producers, directors, cast, crew and talented creatives who brought Julia Quinn's beloved novels to the screen.

My Thoughts

Being the huge fan of Bridgerton I am, I was beyond excited to receive a copy of this sensational book. It’s always enlightening to get behind the scenes and become immersed in something you love. Not only is this a stunning book visually but it is filled to the brim with such interesting facts and details. This book now has pride of place on my bookshelves. 

‘We wrote this book to share with you the craftsmanship, effort, and beauty of what went into building the world of Bridgerton. We also wrote this book to sneak you a few behind-the-scenes secrets. After all, we could not enter the world of Lady Whistledown without a few whispers of hot gossip, could we? Settle in. Loosen your corset. Gentle Reader, this is for you.’

As Julia Quinn herself states in the book, ‘It was utterly brilliant. Different, yes, but beautifully done in a way that I never would have considered. It was perfect.’  This tome is filled with gorgeous glossy photos from behind the scenes. It was fabulous to learn of the various locations used for filming and how a production of this magnitude is undertaken. For example, the chapter on the complexities of production was such an eye opener with details of how characters would go through 10-15 people before arriving on set!

The book is divided into sections: 1.Writing the World  2.Hiring the World  3.Defining the Ton  4.Building the World  5.Beyond the Page  6.Visualising the World. Within these chapters there is such a range of information on topics from the costuming including jewelry and undergarments (‘The factory ultimately held eighteen hundred dresses, all cataloged. Phoebe alone had eighty-six dresses.’);  and of a particular personal interest, a historian who commented on matters of authenticity with everything from Regency slang to making readers aware of what it would have been like in reality:

‘In the period, the trees were lit up by lamps filled with whale oil- - which smelled dreadful, so the Pleasure Gardens would have absolutely stank.’

If you are a fan of Bridgerton (or even the logistics of a production of this magnitude) getting your hands on a copy of Inside Bridgerton is a no-brainer. It’s big, it’s brash and it is absolutely beautiful. 

‘And so, Dearest Reader, here is hoping that you have delighted in this peek behind the scenes of Bridgerton. … Our hope is that this book makes you more interested, invested, and curious about Bridgerton, of course, but also about world-building in general, and the exquisite care that goes into every moment of production, whether it happens onscreen or off.’

This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.

Review: Pharaohs of the Sun

Title: Pharaohs of the Sun

Author: Guy de la Bédoyère

Publisher: 12th July 2022  by Hachette Australia

Pages: 382 pages

Genre: non fiction, history, Egypt

My Rating: 5 cups

Synopsis:

For more than two centuries Egypt was ruled by the most powerful, successful, and richest dynasty of kings in its long end epic history. They included the female king Hatshepsut, the warrior kings Thutmose III and Amenhotep II, the religious radical Akhenaten and his queen Nefertiti, and most famously of all for the wealth of his tomb the short-lived boy king Tutankhamun. The power and riches of the Pharaohs of the 18th Dynasty came at enormous cost to Egypt's enemies and most of its people. This was an age of ruthless absolutism, exploitation, extravagance, brutality, and oppression in a culture where not only did Egypt plunder its neighbours but Egyptian kings and their people robbed one another.

3,500 years ago ancient Egypt began two centuries in which it became richer and more powerful than any other nation at the time, ruled by the kings of the 18th Dynasty. They presided over a system built on war, oppression, and ruthlessness, pouring Egypt's wealth into grandiose monuments, temples, and extravagant tombs. Tutankhamun was one of the last of the line and one of the most obscure. Among his predecessors were some of the most notorious and enigmatic figures of all of Egypt's history. Pharaohs of the Sun is their story, showing how the glamour and gold was tainted by selfishness, ostentation, and the systematic exploitation of Egypt's people and enemies.

My Thoughts

‘Their legacy was their history, temples, tombs, and works of art of the 18th Dynasty which the world has looked upon in awe ever since, all the while sobered by the wreckage and decay, and the lone and level sands stretching far away. In that. if we are honest, we can also see the relics of our own time and our hubris in some far distant future.’

Ever since I was at school and first introduced to Egypt and its history I have been fascinated. So much so that I had to fulfill a childhood dream by sitting beside the Sphinx and visiting Tutankhamen’s tomb. I have read both fiction and nonfiction tales from this time as I just can't get enough of it. For anyone like me, Guy de la Bédoyère 's latest book is sure to make you happy. 

Guy has written many historical books over three decades. His latest, Pharaohs of the Sun, details ancient Egypt in the 18th Dynasty, a time when this civilisation was at its peak. Under this particular group of Pharaohs, Egypt became the richest and most powerful Bronze Age state that would prove to intrigue and captiviate people for thousands of years to come. This book covers it all and is very readable for the non-academic. I enjoyed the parallels Guy brought from other Empires to try and explain and correlate. 

‘Egypt’s glory days of the 18th Dynasty were built on a hierarchy with gold-bedecked kings at the top and the broken bodies of labourers, including children and prisoners of war, at the bottom. These kings presided over a population most of whom died before their thirties from disease or other hazards.’

Guy does an amazing job across the depth and breadth of this dynasty. With the big names such as Tutankhamen, Hatshepsut, Akhenaten and Nefertiti to lesser known ones, he writes of their stories inclusive of the cost to those they ruled. It was certainly a time of great riches with complete and utter ruthlessness. There is also a most impressive index, glossary, timeline colour photos and more included in some of the 100+ pages of reference materials and extras. 

The 18th Dynasty was an incredible era for the ancient Egyptians - well up there with some of the world's best. For me, and for many others, it continues to be such a source of fascination. We see it all from the grandeur to the enormous cost to all involved.  This is a book I highly recommend to lovers of all things ancient Egyptian.

‘My imagination runs riot wondering what the common people who see my monument in the years to come will say. Beware of saying I know not, I know not why this was made and a mountain fashioned entirely from gold like an everyday event I swear as Re loves me, as my father Amun favours me shall be eternal like the star that never sets.’

~ Hatshepsut, on her obelisks at Karnak ~

This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.

Review: Cry of the Kalahari

Title: Cry of the Kalahari

Author: Mark and Delia Owens

Publisher: 12th October 2021 by Hachette Australia

Pages: 434 pages

How I Read It: ARC book

Genre: non fiction, animals, adventure, culture Africa

My Rating: 5 cups

Synopsis:

The incredible memoir by international bestselling author of ‘Where The Crawdad's Sing’, Delia Owens and her partner Mark Owens', charting their time researching wildlife in the Kalahari Desert. Reissued and in full colour, for the first time since its original publication.

Carrying little more than a change of clothes and a pair of binoculars, two young Americans, Mark and Delia Owens, caught a plane to Africa, bought a thirdhand Land Rover, and drove deep into the Kalahari Desert. There they lived for seven years, in an unexplored area with no roads, no people, and no source of water for thousands of square miles. In this vast wilderness the Owenses began their zoology research, working along animals that had never before been exposed to humans.

An international bestseller on original release, Cry of the Kalahari is the story of the Owenses's life with lions, brown hyenas, jackals, giraffes, and the many other creatures they came to know. It is also a gripping account of how they survived the dangers of living in one of the last and largest pristine areas on Earth.

My Thoughts

‘The sky deepened. I lay back in the straw-colored grass, and pressing my fingers into the rough surface of the riverbed, as I had so many times before, I wondered how long the Kalahari would belong to the wild.’

Having lived and worked in Africa, I am always eager to read stories from that conflicted continent. ‘Cry of the Kalahari’, originally published in 1984, is being reissued with full colour photos for the first time and I highly recommend it. It was a wake up call almost forty years ago and, sadly, would appear to remain seemingly relevant today. 

Mark and Delia Owens devoted much of their life to conservation. This book details their first seven years of studying the Botswana wildlife, particularly lions and brown hyenas. Here you will read about what would have been the adventure of a lifetime, especially given the situation in the early 80s, namely the lack of communication. The hardships they endured on a daily basis seem so unreal but this is very much a factual account. To balance it out however, they bring such joy to what they did and through the sharing of their immersive lifestyle of living  in such remoteness, we can learn and feel so much. 

‘We had to remind ourselves that they were wild lions. What we felt at such times could not be expressed with any one of the usual emotional terms. It was an amalgam, really, of several emotions: excitement, gratitude, warmth, companionship.’

It would be remiss of me not to draw attention to the proverbial elephant in this review - Delia Owens of Where The Crawdads Sing fame. Having read that novel, having read this current book and having been inspired to read more about the work of Delia and Mark Owens, I have to admit to being intrigued by the seeming correlations of Delia’s experiences adapted to her fictional sensation of Where The Crawdads Sing. Fascinating to consider. 

This is truly an inspiring read of a young couple dedicating seven years of their life to studying the wildlife of the Kalahari Desert in Botswana. Tenacious, brave and seemingly fearless, they pushed on through many hardships in an effort to understand and preserve a very special part of our world. A must read for anyone interested in wildlife and conservation.

‘It’s difficult to describe the excitement and joy we felt. We had found our Eden. Yet we were very anxious not to disturb the intricate patterns of life that were going on around us. Here was a place where creatures did not know of man’s crimes against nature. Perhaps, if we were sensitive enough to the freedom of these animals, we could slip unnoticed into this ancient river valley and carefully study its treasures without damaging it. We were determined to protect one of the last untouched corners of earth from ourselves.’

This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.

Review: The Book of Tea

Title: The Book of Tea

Author: Okakura Kakuzo

Publisher: 14th October 2021 by Amber Books Ltd

Pages: 96 pages

How I Read It: ARC book

Genre: non fiction, culture Japan, philosophy, tea

My Rating: 3.5 crowns

Synopsis:

‘Tea began as a medicine and grew into a beverage,’ are the opening words of Okakura Kakuzō’s The Book of Tea, written in English in 1906 for a Western audience. The book is a long essay celebrating the secular art of the Japanese tea ceremony and linking its importance with Zen Buddhism and Taoism. It is both about cultural life, aesthetics and philosophy, emphasising how Teaism – a term Kakuzō coined – taught the Japanese many things; most importantly, simplicity, which can be seen in Japanese art and architecture. Looking back at the evolution of the Japanese tea ceremony, Kakuzō argues that Teaism, in itself, is one of the profound universal remedies that two parties could sit down to. Where the West had scoffed at Eastern religion and morals, it held Eastern tea ceremonies in high regard. With a new introduction, this is an exquisitely produced edition of a classic text made using traditional Chinese bookbinding techniques. Surely it’s time for tea.

My Thoughts

‘The simplicity of the tea-room and its freedom from vulgarity make it truly a sanctuary from the vexations of the outer world.’

Okakura Kakuzo was a scholar who promoted Japanese arts last century and is best remembered as the author of The Book of Tea (1906). 

‘There is a subtle charm in the taste of tea that makes it irresistible and capable of idealization.’

Basically this is an essay written for a Western audience on ‘teaism’ and its contribution to Japanese life. Kakuzo looks at the ceremony associated with tea in relation to the wider themes of Taoism and art for example. 

‘Tea with us became more than an idealization of the form of drinking: it is a religion of the art of life.’

The main theme is that teaism has been central in teaching the Japanese the importance of simplicity. Short and succinct, this is an interesting read on Japanese culture. 

‘Do we not need the tea-room more than ever?’

This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.

Review: Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life

Title: Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life

Author:  Kate James

Publisher: 26th January 2021 by Pan Macmillan Australia

Pages: 290 pages

How I Read It: ARC book

Genre: non fiction, self help

My Rating: 5 cups

Synopsis:

 

Many of us experience feelings of being stuck in the wrong life and disconnected from our true selves.

Australian mindfulness expert and bestselling author Kate James has coached thousands of clients in similar situations.

Now, in Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life, Kate introduces us to a range of techniques, based on her knowledge of mindfulness, positive psychology, ACT, creativity and neuropsychology, that will help us clarify our goals, realise our purpose and connect more fully with the wonder of life.

Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life will help you to:

- get to know yourself well

- overcome the thoughts and beliefs that inhibit inner peace and limit you in your life choices

- find your way to your version of a fulfilling life.

Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life is the perfect companion for negotiating transformation in an unsettled age.

My Thoughts

‘... when you change the relationship you have with yourself, you discover that there’s a whole different way of living in this world.’

 

January, more often than not, starts with a set of goals or intentions for people. As we embark on a new year, and after the lessons of last year, I highly recommend reading Kate’s book as a good place to start in making changes for the better in your life. There are so many books, videos and apps in the area of self help, but this little gem of a book really hit the spot for me. 

 

It became clear very early that Kate (and this is the first book of hers I have read) really has an amazing approach to life and a wealth of experiences that allow her to share some wise and profound insights whilst offering advice to her readers. This will certainly be a book that I go back to time and again as the practical questions and recommendations assist in providing that sense of balance and calm that we all seek.  

 

‘In many ways, the path to a meaningful life is uncomplicated. It’s about recognising that the short amount of time we get to spend on this earth is a blessing. And we need to make as much of it as we can.’

Change Your Thinking to Change Your Life has many practical ideas to not only assist you in finding a purpose but transform the way your overactive mind operates - to appreciate why it is you think certain thoughts and those that may in fact hinder a transformation to a happier way of being. I very much enjoyed the poignant stories from both Kate herself and her clients. Their honesty was clear and meaningful, making the messages real and accessible. This is all supported with well researched data and offerings for further study into some of the concepts. There is also a ‘workbook’ of sorts with questions to contemplate and reflect upon at the end of chapters, that allows the reader to put into practice or consider how one could effectively initiate some of the recommendations. 

‘It involves momentarily quieting your discursive thinking and putting aside your preference for things to be any other way than what they are. With this open and accepting mind state, we often find that it’s actually not that difficult to feel a greater sense of acceptance of our thoughts, our feelings and our lives.’

This is one of the best books of this genre that I have read. For many of the chapters I felt that Kate was speaking to me personally and I furiously highlighted certain passages. We are all on a path and to make it more enjoyable this book certainly offers refreshingly and positive ways to really enjoy your individual journey.  At a time when we may be feeling more disconnected than connected, Kate offers purposeful advice to take practical steps to lead a better life. 

‘Maybe the most significant lesson was the importance of finding beauty in everyday, ordinary things. We often work on our personal development goals thinking there’ll be an endpoint where we have it all figured out and where life will be rosy and happy. After losing Reneé, I realised that genuine contentment is learning to be right here - to embrace this flawed and imperfect and very brief life and to find a way to love every part of it. Something Reneé and I  had in common was a desire to make every day beautiful, regardless of our external circumstances.’

This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.